Status report...
Many of you (at least 3 different people) have been asking me ... "How many more movies do you have to watch before you are finished?"
This, my dear reader, is not a simple question. So I thought I'd lay it out for you as best I can.
As of right now, I have:
1 new movie, to be released in November (it's called "Due Date" and I really hate to say that the trailer didn't look that good)
1 film that's about to be released on DVD (Iron Man 2, can I get a woot woot?)
1 VHS cassette in the mail to me as we speak
1 "video on demand" available through Amazon that I'm saving for a dry spell
1 VHS that is sketchily available through Amazon; I'm waiting to see if the price drops on it
1 film that I can't find on either VHS or DVD, but RDJR's scenes are available on YouTube, so I'm going that route and calling it good
1 film that I flat-out can't find anywhere, which doesn't appear to ever have been released on video
2 documentaries that I can't find anywhere, and neither appears to have been released on video
1 TV movie that I found a pirated copy of online, and am still trying to decide whether or not I should buy it-it does have The Muppets, which is a big selling point for me, but it's technically illegal, which makes me feel guilty
4 film shorts (I think they are, like, 10 minutes long) that I'm sure I'll never find anywhere
1 season of "Family Guy" that I refuse to watch because I think that show is vulgar, and generally stupid
....and I'm halfway through a season of Ally McBeal. There are a few other TV appearances that I'm not pursuing; there is a difference between science and obsession, after all.
So there you have it. I'll let you do the math.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Review #61 - America (1986)
Here it is, my little chickens - movie #3 from the Barf Bag. I bring you... "America."
"Discover America. Where anyone may become rich and famous in an instant. New York janitor Floyd Praeger has just won $10 million in the state lottery! With stardom, wealth and the city in his pocket, Floyd is now a primetime television interviewee. And here are just the people to capitalize on Floyd's good fortune - the crazy crew at Cable 92! Announcer Earl Justice; Bob Jolly, the sex-crazed weatherman; Tina Lyle, the beautiful, curvaceous sportscaster; and Terrence Hackley (Zach Norman, Romancing the Stone), human interest reporter. Unfortunately for Hackley, life is on the verge of catastrophe. his wife (Tony Award winner, Tammy Grimes) has just found a skirt in his briefcase. Convinced that it's his, she has threatened to divorce him. He's about to lose his job, is there salvation? The station's owner, Mr. Management, is wild with the vision of Hackley in a skirt, searching for action! The publicity, the ratings, the dollars. he promotes Hackley for a new beat - action reporter. Hackley takes to the streets, uncovering every lurid and raucous story he can find. From prison inmates to striking prostitutes, mafia bosses to millionaires, no news goes unreported. The ratings are up, the salaries are up, the gags are up - but the gig may be up when Floyd decides to invest his winnings and buy the station. Meanwhile, Gypsy (Richard Belzer, Night Shift), a cabbie obsessed with ideas of fame and fortune of his own, drives through the station's wall hoping to perform his raunchy comedy routine on the air. What could possibly happen next? Find out by tuning in to this uproarious satire - what Network did to broadcast television, America does to cable!"
I kid you not, that behemoth is the movie summary on the back of the box. To fit all of it on, it is in the tiniest little print you have ever seen. I got out my Hubble and was able to make it out, and transcribe it for you herein. All for science, my friends. All for science.
Well, I'm sure you recall my love of RDSR's movies - yes, this film is another Senior Moment. 90 minutes of nausea. I almost briefly smiled once, when the anchorman was mugged while walking down a dark street - his loss was a dead cat in a paper bag that he was toting around on behalf of a viewer. Yes, it was so clever, it almost made my eyes refocus.
Our Hero played somebody's son for about 30 seconds in the beginning of the film. I'd give you more detail, but then I'd have to remember back to the beginning, and I just don't think I can bring myself to do that.
If yesterday's turd bomb was a 1, I'll give this one a 1.2 so as not to give the impression that I'm overly harsh.
On a happy note - Iron Man 2 is coming out on DVD on September 28th. Thank God for small favors.
"Discover America. Where anyone may become rich and famous in an instant. New York janitor Floyd Praeger has just won $10 million in the state lottery! With stardom, wealth and the city in his pocket, Floyd is now a primetime television interviewee. And here are just the people to capitalize on Floyd's good fortune - the crazy crew at Cable 92! Announcer Earl Justice; Bob Jolly, the sex-crazed weatherman; Tina Lyle, the beautiful, curvaceous sportscaster; and Terrence Hackley (Zach Norman, Romancing the Stone), human interest reporter. Unfortunately for Hackley, life is on the verge of catastrophe. his wife (Tony Award winner, Tammy Grimes) has just found a skirt in his briefcase. Convinced that it's his, she has threatened to divorce him. He's about to lose his job, is there salvation? The station's owner, Mr. Management, is wild with the vision of Hackley in a skirt, searching for action! The publicity, the ratings, the dollars. he promotes Hackley for a new beat - action reporter. Hackley takes to the streets, uncovering every lurid and raucous story he can find. From prison inmates to striking prostitutes, mafia bosses to millionaires, no news goes unreported. The ratings are up, the salaries are up, the gags are up - but the gig may be up when Floyd decides to invest his winnings and buy the station. Meanwhile, Gypsy (Richard Belzer, Night Shift), a cabbie obsessed with ideas of fame and fortune of his own, drives through the station's wall hoping to perform his raunchy comedy routine on the air. What could possibly happen next? Find out by tuning in to this uproarious satire - what Network did to broadcast television, America does to cable!"
I kid you not, that behemoth is the movie summary on the back of the box. To fit all of it on, it is in the tiniest little print you have ever seen. I got out my Hubble and was able to make it out, and transcribe it for you herein. All for science, my friends. All for science.
Well, I'm sure you recall my love of RDSR's movies - yes, this film is another Senior Moment. 90 minutes of nausea. I almost briefly smiled once, when the anchorman was mugged while walking down a dark street - his loss was a dead cat in a paper bag that he was toting around on behalf of a viewer. Yes, it was so clever, it almost made my eyes refocus.
Our Hero played somebody's son for about 30 seconds in the beginning of the film. I'd give you more detail, but then I'd have to remember back to the beginning, and I just don't think I can bring myself to do that.
If yesterday's turd bomb was a 1, I'll give this one a 1.2 so as not to give the impression that I'm overly harsh.
On a happy note - Iron Man 2 is coming out on DVD on September 28th. Thank God for small favors.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Review #60 - Too Much Sun (1991)
Another VHS, courtesy of the Satchel from Hell:
"Robert Downey, Jr., Eric Idle, Ralph Macchio, Andrea Martin, and Leo Rossi star in this zany comedy of sexual confusion among the very rich. As the two eccentric children of a Beverly Hills millionaire, Sonny (Eric Idle) and Bitsy (Andrea Martin) are used to the good life. But when a crooked priest murders their father, they learn that they'll lose their $200 million inheritance unless once of them produces an heir within a year. The ensuing game of sexual musical chairs is further complicated by the arrival of Robert Downey, Jr. and Ralph Macchio as a pair of two-bit hustlers willing to be "adopted" for the right price. Directed by counter-culture hero Robert Downey (who also directed Putney Swope and Up the Academy), Too Much Sun is a raunchy and irreverent look at the lives of the rich and famous."
So, when I started this little Project 9 months ago, I figured that I'd learn a little about RDJR, and I guess I have. What I didn't anticipate was learning something about RDSR. I didn't even know such a person existed a year ago. CLARIFICATION: Well, obviously I understand how babies are conceived, and I understood that there was a Robert Downey Sr. on the planet...I MEANT that I didn't know he was a filmmaker. Geesh, do I have to explain everything?
Anyhow, Robert Downey Sr., rogue filmmaker, "counter-culture hero", has a REAL PROBLEM with religion. He has managed to bash Christians in all his films I've seen so far...and, unfortunately, I haven't yet completed my counter-culture viewing opportunities. Ugh. I think he actually has an equation for his films: (T + A) + (Christian bashing) - (Plot) = Movie. Methinks somebody needs to put the camera down and get himself a wee bit of therapy.
This film was made to be endured, not enjoyed. If you are into meditation, and want to test your tenacity at remaining focused upon your inner self, plug this one into your VCR. I guarantee that you will put yourself into whatever state is necessary to prevent making eye contact with the TV. Yes, I said VCR - for some reason, this gem hasn't made it to dvd.
Toback would watch this and think it's stupid. That's how incredibly moronic it is.
So, I'm going with a 1. Again.
2 out of the bag, 1 to go.
"Robert Downey, Jr., Eric Idle, Ralph Macchio, Andrea Martin, and Leo Rossi star in this zany comedy of sexual confusion among the very rich. As the two eccentric children of a Beverly Hills millionaire, Sonny (Eric Idle) and Bitsy (Andrea Martin) are used to the good life. But when a crooked priest murders their father, they learn that they'll lose their $200 million inheritance unless once of them produces an heir within a year. The ensuing game of sexual musical chairs is further complicated by the arrival of Robert Downey, Jr. and Ralph Macchio as a pair of two-bit hustlers willing to be "adopted" for the right price. Directed by counter-culture hero Robert Downey (who also directed Putney Swope and Up the Academy), Too Much Sun is a raunchy and irreverent look at the lives of the rich and famous."
So, when I started this little Project 9 months ago, I figured that I'd learn a little about RDJR, and I guess I have. What I didn't anticipate was learning something about RDSR. I didn't even know such a person existed a year ago. CLARIFICATION: Well, obviously I understand how babies are conceived, and I understood that there was a Robert Downey Sr. on the planet...I MEANT that I didn't know he was a filmmaker. Geesh, do I have to explain everything?
Anyhow, Robert Downey Sr., rogue filmmaker, "counter-culture hero", has a REAL PROBLEM with religion. He has managed to bash Christians in all his films I've seen so far...and, unfortunately, I haven't yet completed my counter-culture viewing opportunities. Ugh. I think he actually has an equation for his films: (T + A) + (Christian bashing) - (Plot) = Movie. Methinks somebody needs to put the camera down and get himself a wee bit of therapy.
This film was made to be endured, not enjoyed. If you are into meditation, and want to test your tenacity at remaining focused upon your inner self, plug this one into your VCR. I guarantee that you will put yourself into whatever state is necessary to prevent making eye contact with the TV. Yes, I said VCR - for some reason, this gem hasn't made it to dvd.
Toback would watch this and think it's stupid. That's how incredibly moronic it is.
So, I'm going with a 1. Again.
2 out of the bag, 1 to go.
Bueller...Bueller...Bueller....
Ahh...the sun is out, the birds are singing, notes of Handel float on the air here in my little room...all is right with the world.
I took the day off from work and am blissfully engaged in almost no activity whatsoever. I've worked every day since July 31st, and Mama is tired. So I took a vacation day today and slept in. Made the pilgrimage to Wally World to buy a vacuum cleaner belt. Bought sundry other items and forgot the belt...darn, Mama can't vacuum on her day off.
So, I bring you...
TINA'S BIG GOALS FOR HER DAY OFF
1. Brush teeth. (check.)
2. Wash car. (check.)
3. Move Tav's dresser downstairs so that I can go through his clothes and do the "back to school sort job." Let's face it, chickens, he's 11 and he won't do it...so why should I have to go upstairs to do a chore? Dresser, therefore, must move to Mohammad.
4. Write blog post. (pending.)
5. Watch either (a) a lousy RDJR movie from the late 80's/early 90's or (b) another episode of Ally McBeal from the RDJR season.
That's pretty much it. I've already managed to perform all necessary personal hygiene, go to Wally World, wash my car, check the mail, and drink a latte', and it's only 11:56 a.m. Come to think of it - it's entirely possible that I've already done enough for the day. What do you think?
I took the day off from work and am blissfully engaged in almost no activity whatsoever. I've worked every day since July 31st, and Mama is tired. So I took a vacation day today and slept in. Made the pilgrimage to Wally World to buy a vacuum cleaner belt. Bought sundry other items and forgot the belt...darn, Mama can't vacuum on her day off.
So, I bring you...
TINA'S BIG GOALS FOR HER DAY OFF
1. Brush teeth. (check.)
2. Wash car. (check.)
3. Move Tav's dresser downstairs so that I can go through his clothes and do the "back to school sort job." Let's face it, chickens, he's 11 and he won't do it...so why should I have to go upstairs to do a chore? Dresser, therefore, must move to Mohammad.
4. Write blog post. (pending.)
5. Watch either (a) a lousy RDJR movie from the late 80's/early 90's or (b) another episode of Ally McBeal from the RDJR season.
That's pretty much it. I've already managed to perform all necessary personal hygiene, go to Wally World, wash my car, check the mail, and drink a latte', and it's only 11:56 a.m. Come to think of it - it's entirely possible that I've already done enough for the day. What do you think?
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