It's Time.

There's an Iron Man 2 DVD sitting next to my TV.

Tomorrow is Friday.

Need I say more?

All the News That's Fit to Forget to Print

Oops.

I kinda, sorta, unintentionally and completely without excuse, forgot to tell you, dearest reader -

My son, the American soldier, is home from Iraq.

He's not exactly "home" home. I haven't made visual contact yet. But is he is back at his base in Tacoma. Safe, sound, and spending money like water. He has called me exactly once.

He's been back now almost 2 weeks, and I can't believe that I didn't write about it. Geez, I guess my champagne and caviar lifestyle has dulled my senses. The only excuse I can offer to you is that I posted it to FaceBook, and a lot of you read it there already.

So, Tina has one less thing to worry about now. Go Tina Go.

Another cool thing - as a gift for my birthday, my friend Sheila - who will be remembered and studied by my grandchildren as the preeminent author of the early 21st century - wrote an "article" based on my blog. All I can say is, she loves me and she knows my innermost dreams. Maybe someday it won't be complete fiction, and we can actually publish it in the paper.

Ah, another big announcement. Today will be my last day at my second job. I haven't told my boss yet, but hey, she doesn't read this anyway and you won't tell, because you all got my back. Anyhow, I had originally intended to cut back to one day a week at job #2, if possible, until I knew exactly what my monthly expenses vs. income looked like after the impending move. I figured out that this wouldn't work when, on Friday, I checked my work schedule online for the upcoming 2 weeks, and burst into tears. Methinks Tina has reached some sort of threshold and needs to scale back. Me REALLY thinks this.

So, for the sake of my precarious mental condition, I am going back to one job. You know, you really can do a lot with Top Ramen if you put your mind to it.

Nurse - Blog Post - STAT!

You know what amazes me about this whole blogging thing? The "stats" feature. Thanks to Mr. Google, I now can know the who, what, where and when of my readership at any given time. Not that I need to go buy a new computer with expanded memory to hold the vast amount of data I get, but I have had a fair number of hits, considering how few people are "following" me.

One thing that totally trips me out - I still get daily hits on a post I did back in July about leaving my church. That one post has had more than three times as many hits as the next most-read post, and still gets about 5 hits a day. Weird.

The real reason for this post is - I need your help, dearest reader. At the end of this project I will be giving out "awards" for the films I've viewed. I need some help coming up with award categories. Jump in, my little chickens, and give me some awe-inspiring ideas.

Review # 63 - Greaser's Palace (1972)

So, I've got a few hours to kill this morning. My son is at a friend's house. I've been packing all week, and I'm tired of it - plus I'm out of boxes. I don't have to be to work until 2:30. God forbid I do something crazy, like CLEAN. So I decided to watch a movie.

Back the train up. I can't function in the a.m. without a latte'. So at 8:45 this morning, I got in the car and headed for the fruit stand, my nearest source of espresso. Well, once I was in the car, I figured - hey, I'm out anyway, let's drive 10 more miles and get a donut at Safeway and a better latte' at The Pumphouse. And this, dear reader, is what I did. My 15 minute latte' run actually took 50 minutes, but I got the drink I wanted and 2 donuts. So I'm cool now.

Our feature today is "Greaser's Palace," made in 1972 by Robert Downey Sr. (here we go again) and provided via Amazon.com's "Video on Demand" feature. Here's their summary:

"A combination of the Old West and the New Testament; a zoot-suited drifter (Allan Arbus) discovers his true calling and begins to perform miracles. What he really prefers though is doing his boogie-woogie song-and-dance act. In his wanderings he attracts many followers and finally gets to play The Palace, a saloon run by ruthless Seaweed Greaser (Albert Henderson). The act is a success, but Greaser's spoiled daughter, Cholera (Luana Anders), his hitherto star, is furious--"A man with holes in his hands is a bigger hit than me?"--and all according to the Gospel of cult filmmaker Robert Downey (Putney Swope, Pound). "

Okay, where to start. Well, the Jesus-type was played by the guy who was the psychiatrist on MASH, which was kinda fun. I always liked his voice. Our Hero played "little boy", which was appropriate, since in 1972 he was a little boy. Here's the kicker, folks - "little boy" gets his THROAT SLIT about 10 minutes into the movie. As Dana Carvey would say, isn't that SPECIAL. Can you imagine the dinnertime conversations at the Downey house, circa 1971?

(6 p.m., Downey house. All are seated around the dinner table.)

RDSR: (Waves meatloaf-laden fork at wife to get her attention.) Honey, I'd like Junior to be in my next film. He'll play a little kid who gets his throat slit. Any problem with that?

MRS. RDSR: Oh, no, dear. I trust you implicitly. I foresee absolutely no issues with our young, impressionable son having his throat slit on film while his daddy watches. In fact, I predict our little boy will be a straight-A Harvard grad and a productive member of society. (turns to RDJR) What do you think, honey? Doesn't that sound like a FUN time with daddy?

RDJR: (Making mashed potato mountain featuring a pentagram carved into the side and crooking his little pinkie finger) REDRUM. REDRUM.

RDSR: Well, then, it's settled. I think this is a capital idea. I'm so glad I thought of it. I believe I'll write a parenting book.

Back to my review. I broke my cardinal rule (again) and read a few of the reviews posted on Amazon. I did wait until the film was over, so I only really BENT the rule. One guy said, "Five people can watch this film. One will love it, four will hate it, but all five will never forget it."

I mostly agree with that statement; however, I guarantee you that I will forget this film as soon as I possibly can, resorting to hypnosis if necessary.

This little nugget will be available on DVD soon. I can't possibly imagine why. It was vulgar, idiotic, poorly written, filmed, edited and dubbed; it was silly, stupid, unimaginative, and crass. It was one joke over and over and over. And the joke wasn't even funny the first time.

I give it a 1.