going postal

So, here's the sitch.

After 7 years of working in one town and living elsewhere, I finally decided to get a post office box close to my office. I am doing this for the sake of science. How else can I pick up my Netflix movies if I'm 8 miles away from the PO during working hours?

My life's mission is to be as helpful as possible to as many people as possible (perhaps it's more of a "life theory"). In that light, I went on usps.com and signed up for my PO Box. Think of the time savings! All I need to do is take the completed form to my local post office, they give me 2 keys, and I walk out the door, knowing that I've made the life of a local postal worker just a little easier. There will certainly be a grateful smile, a word of thanks. Eyes may water up, a trailing tear may trickle down a cheek.

So, I fill out my form online, pay my rental fee, print my form, and off I go to the Post Office. I present it to the guy behind the counter, who spews, "Oh, you did this ONLINE??" in the same tone you would expect the words "You ran over a WHAT?". At this point, I wrote off the possibility of the trailing tear scenario.

Turns out that if you sign up for a PO Box online, it totally screws everything up at the local post office. THE COMPUTER arbitrarily assigns your box number, which discombobulates the local numbering system (said system consisting of a bunch of numbers written on a piece of paper dating from the Truman administration). Not only did I FUBAR the whole thing by filling out this form, THE COMPUTER didn't even assign my number, which should technically constitute a partial un-FUBAR in my book.

So, I get the next box number off the magical paper, THE COMPUTER is dissed, and off I go. I promptly contact my bank, credit card company, Netflix, Amazon, my insurance company, and various and sundry others to inform them of the change.

Lo and behold, I be-bop home with my new post office box keys to hear on my answering machine, "hello, we need you to bring your keys back, because THE COMPUTER has assigned you a different box."

You can imagine the rest. Back to the Post Office. Sob story about how I've already informed everyone that I've changed my address. Pointed out that I'm a veteran. (You never know when that might be useful). Am informed that yes, I can keep my "incorrect" box number if I cancel my account, request a refund, and then re-apply for the specific number. Of course, I'm have to pay a PENALTY for early cancellation of my box.

I can keep the number that was assigned to me the DAY BEFORE if I PAY A PENALTY for CLOSING MY BOX before the end of my rental period.

Let that one run around in your head awhile, dear reader.

So, got my new box number, made some more calls. Too late for Netflix, they've already sent my next RDJR movie to my "old" number. The postal worker is going to try his darndest to make sure it doesn't get RETURNED because it's ADDRESSED INCORRECTLY. It seems that THE COMPUTER lacks short-term memory and won't recall any of this TOMORROW when my movie arrives.

Run that one around too. Take your time.

On that note, it's Wednesday night. I'm off to prayer meeting and grocery shopping.

See ya around the block,
Tina