Ode to a Steak

Sometimes, when life is at its darkest and all seems lost, you just have to go out to dinner.

I really, really, REALLY wanted a good steak tonight. I've been semi-behaving myself since January 11th, going to the gym 6 days a week, and not eating out. So I decided that today was the day - freshly paid and freshly weighed, both figures satisfactory for now. Time to be a carnivore.

Then I decided to come home and write a truly amazing poem.

ODE TO A STEAK

Is there any sight to the human eye as lovely as a steak?
The purest maiden blush, the most delicate rose bloom, the perfection of a single raindrop-
All are horse pucky compared to thee, fairest beef.
I awake in the morning - I think of thee.
I adorn my body with royal robes - I think of thee.
I gaze in a gilded mirror, upon a reflection so beautiful it makes the most valiant man cry - I think of thee.
Lest this day see its end without thy wondrous scent, a wafting pleasure - I order thee at the Breadline.
I cut thee with my knife - thou est pink in the center and stuffed with cheese so bleu.
Cut, knife, cut - the sweetest cut of all.
A single, haunted tear trails down softest cheek - sweet, sweet steak to soften the crushing blow - I am no longer the most perfect creature in all the cosmos. Thou, dearest cow who so willingly paused your bovine breath - thou est far more perfect-er.

~~**~~

It's much more effective if you read it out loud.