So, my little chickens - the time has come to burst your respective bubbles.
Some of you know me, some of you do not. For those of you who don't, I am sure that you have formed an image of me in your mind. Such wit! Such wisdom! Such profundity! Surely a woman who can produce all this - and more - must be a highly-educated lady of refinement, secure in a McMansion, seated on a pile of old money which she tosses out the window indiscriminately to the masses below.
Well, alas - said lady went to the dollar store today. Does that alter your mental picture a little?
My son's friend turns 11 tomorrow, and, well, he needed a gift. I suggested to Tav that we go to the dollar store and get him some bags of candy...I figured that was a brilliant gift for an 11-year old, and it would only cost me 5 bucks.
So, I wandered around the store, stocking up on gift wrap and pretending like I wasn't much interested in anything I saw, while my son did his shopping. He knew he could get 5 things. Pause for a moment, dearest reader - now pretend like you are a 10-year old boy in the dollar store. What five things would you get? Got it in your mind? Okay - fasten your seatbelts.
We ended up with:
1. A bag of rubber bands
2. 2 rolls of Scotch tape
3. 2 mechanical pencils
4. a bag of Jolly Ranchers
I grabbed an Iron Man Pez dispenser to make 5 items. (Like I'm NOT going to buy one of those.) This is what my son came up with as the perfect gift for a classmate.
Go figure.
This part you will love. Did you know that you can buy pregnancy tests at the dollar store? They are right next to the cash register. Call me an elitist, but I would not trust the learning of a life-altering fate to a test that I bought at the DOLLAR STORE. I'm sure that 12-year old kid working in the pregnancy test sweat shop in China is doing the best he can, but come on, people. Are you serious?
Hey - how about a package deal? Buy 1 box of dollar store condoms, get a coupon for a free dollar store pregnancy test?
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LOL!!!!! Love the package deal idea. I've actually used those tests in the past. Too funny!
ReplyDeleteLOL...I actually like the dollar store...for certain things tho...like toys that my kids can have fun with and then throw out as they do and I wont care...lol but most of all, Hot Tamales. I looooove hot tamales!! and they have a big box for only a dollar!! yaaaaa. I would purchase a pregnancy test at this stage...why? becaue I know I cant get pregnant again, so I would only be doing it for fun...lmbo!
ReplyDeleteMan, I love dollar stores for things I don't really need. Great idea, buying your son's friend's present there. Even I could appreciate a goodie bag of tape, rubber bands, pencils and candy.
ReplyDeleteAs for the pregnancy test... (I think that about sums it up).
Good title for your post, by the way. Threw me off a little. :)