Gather close, my little chickens. The time has arrived for our last review. There are no more new releases to await with breathless anticipation. No more videos to root out of their little VHS foxholes. This is it. There's no more Christmas after tonight.
This is not, however, our last post. We still have to acknowledge the most, er, NOTEWORTHY films of Our Hero's colorful career with an overblown awards ceremony. And I have a swan song for you...a fable, of sorts, to put a caboose on our endeavor. This is not goodbye.
On that note - welcome to Due Date, released yesterday here in the good old US of A. From our friends at rottentomatoes.com, I provide this synopsis: "A high-strung father-to-be is forced to hitch a ride with a college slacker on a road trip in order to make it to his child's birth on time."
I originally saw previews for this film over the summer, and if you recall, I wasn't impressed. In September, I saw an extended preview which was a lot more entertaining. Thus I had hope for the film, in the way you hope your Little Molly's rendition of "Jingle Bells" will knock all the other first-grade parents dead at the Christmas Pageant, even though Little Molly can't carry a tune in a bucket to save her life. That frightened, over-bright pasted-on smile with terror in your eyes kind of hope.
Armed with the Trio of Movie Goodness, two facets of which came from the dollar store, and my dear friend Crissy, I set off to place the final brick in this little yellow blog road.
Oh, insert here that I went to the movie already pissed at Zach G-guywiththelonglastname, as he and his self-righteous little reefer madness cohorts got Mel Gibson fired from "The Hangover 2". Seems that this elite Hollywood crowd disapproves of Mr. Gibson's recent voice mails which have been mysteriously leaked to the press, and as a result, feel that Mel should be ritually sacrificed as their purity won't allow for such tainted blood to co-mingle with their own. Funny how this righteous indignation managed to be suppressed long enough to allow for Mike Tyson, A CONVICTED FELON RAPIST, to appear in the first Hangover movie. Isn't that special.
Moving on...
You will probably hear reviews over the next week which compare this film to "Planes, Trains and Automobiles." The comparisons are justified. Truly, it is pretty much the same flick, with the humor updated by 25 years or so. That being said, PT&A was hysterical, so why NOT try it again? Our Hero was a little less endearing than Steve Martin; Zach what's his face was a little stupider than John Candy. RDJR actually spits on a dog and punches an obnoxious little kid in the gut. Works for me.
You will probably also hear reviews that this film was disappointing. I think that's too harsh. I laughed, I had a good time with my buddy. I ate popcorn and milk duds. I went to a rated R movie in the theater for the first time in recent memory, sans my 11-year old companion. It probably could have been better, maybe develop the Jamie Foxx storyline a bit - I love me some Jamie Foxx. I probably won't buy it, but might Netflix it and skip the R scenes so Tav can watch it at home.
If you see Due Date and think it royally sucks, let me know and I'll mail you a VHS of a truly crappy movie for comparison. I now have a collection of them, you see.
For the very last time, I assign a number and give Due Date a 7.5.
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