Review #14 - Baby It's You (1983)

Courtesy of Netflix:

"Indy auteur John Sayles co-wrote and directs this slice of life drama that follows the topsy-turvy high school romance between an upper middle-class Jewish girl named Jill (Rosanna Arquette) and a blue-collar Italian boy known as the Sheik (Vincent Spano). Growing up in New Jersey, the pair struggles to find themselves as individuals while battling disapproving parents, rivalry and other common pitfalls of first love."

So, size double-zero Rosanna Arquette scores Vincent Spano, and she really isn't all that crazy about him. First of all, if I were a 17-year-old girl, and a guy that looked like Vincent Spano walked into MY high school, I would have peed my pants. If he would have glanced at me, I would have passed out. If he had actually SPOKEN to me, I would have had a grand mal seizure on the spot. Period. So I'm not buying the whole "oh, he's so icky" act.

RDJR portrays "Stewart". It is my firm belief that "Stewart" was a figment of the director's imagination, because I was really looking for him, and he never seemed to turn up. I considered playing "Where's Waldo" with this DVD and hunting Stewart out via scene selection, but chose not to. Why? BECAUSE THIS WAS A REALLY DORKY MOVIE and I just don't think I have the endurance.

Sorry, dudes. I tried to like it. I really did. But once you wipe away the Spano-induced drool, there just ain't much left.

The big life lesson we learn from this film, dear reader, is that high school romances don't usually last once you leave high school. If this is news to you, go ahead and put this movie in your queue and get an education. Otherwise, just move on, Grasshopper.

I give this movie a 4 because Vincent Spano looks so terribly, insanely hot in a suit - and he wears lots and lots of suits.