Here it is, my little chickens - movie #3 from the Barf Bag. I bring you... "America."
"Discover America. Where anyone may become rich and famous in an instant. New York janitor Floyd Praeger has just won $10 million in the state lottery! With stardom, wealth and the city in his pocket, Floyd is now a primetime television interviewee. And here are just the people to capitalize on Floyd's good fortune - the crazy crew at Cable 92! Announcer Earl Justice; Bob Jolly, the sex-crazed weatherman; Tina Lyle, the beautiful, curvaceous sportscaster; and Terrence Hackley (Zach Norman, Romancing the Stone), human interest reporter. Unfortunately for Hackley, life is on the verge of catastrophe. his wife (Tony Award winner, Tammy Grimes) has just found a skirt in his briefcase. Convinced that it's his, she has threatened to divorce him. He's about to lose his job, is there salvation? The station's owner, Mr. Management, is wild with the vision of Hackley in a skirt, searching for action! The publicity, the ratings, the dollars. he promotes Hackley for a new beat - action reporter. Hackley takes to the streets, uncovering every lurid and raucous story he can find. From prison inmates to striking prostitutes, mafia bosses to millionaires, no news goes unreported. The ratings are up, the salaries are up, the gags are up - but the gig may be up when Floyd decides to invest his winnings and buy the station. Meanwhile, Gypsy (Richard Belzer, Night Shift), a cabbie obsessed with ideas of fame and fortune of his own, drives through the station's wall hoping to perform his raunchy comedy routine on the air. What could possibly happen next? Find out by tuning in to this uproarious satire - what Network did to broadcast television, America does to cable!"
I kid you not, that behemoth is the movie summary on the back of the box. To fit all of it on, it is in the tiniest little print you have ever seen. I got out my Hubble and was able to make it out, and transcribe it for you herein. All for science, my friends. All for science.
Well, I'm sure you recall my love of RDSR's movies - yes, this film is another Senior Moment. 90 minutes of nausea. I almost briefly smiled once, when the anchorman was mugged while walking down a dark street - his loss was a dead cat in a paper bag that he was toting around on behalf of a viewer. Yes, it was so clever, it almost made my eyes refocus.
Our Hero played somebody's son for about 30 seconds in the beginning of the film. I'd give you more detail, but then I'd have to remember back to the beginning, and I just don't think I can bring myself to do that.
If yesterday's turd bomb was a 1, I'll give this one a 1.2 so as not to give the impression that I'm overly harsh.
On a happy note - Iron Man 2 is coming out on DVD on September 28th. Thank God for small favors.
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