Moving On

The move is done. Tav and I are settled into my guardian angel's basement. Now comes the fun part - the D-I-V-O-R-C-E.

Having been through this before, I have an idea of the drill. In fact, I have the papers all filled out on my computer - just need to print and walk myself up to the courthouse, which is exactly 1 block from my office. Then Mr. Psycho gets served and we are off to the races.

He actually drove 20 miles yesterday to dump his dog in my parents' yard. So, today, I'm sending little Tasha (I use the term "little" broadly) off to a rescue shelter, where she will live in harmony with other divorce dogs. My own dog has a new home already, at my best friend's house. That's what RESPONSIBLE people do. But you, my dear readers, are the creme de la creme, and so of course you know what responsible people do.

The bright side to Mr. Psycho's little adventure is that he killed any remnants of affection that my youngest son may have still harbored in his 11-year old heart. I think that Tav is holding up exceptionally well. He only made one comment, when we first got here and we hadn't hacked into our landlord's wireless connection yet - "Great, I have no dad and no internet." Well, guess what. Laptops are like the ring in the Lord of the Rings series, they WANT to find a wireless connection and seek them out with all their cyber ability. That problem resolved quickly enough. Then the "dog episode" happened, and now my 11-year old thinks that his stepfather is a complete jerk.

Mission accomplished.

Moving on - because my life is not just my shattered marriage, now is it? - our final feature film debuts in a little less than 2 weeks. I am bummed that it's rated R - did I already mention that, don't recall - because Tav can't go. But mommy is happy at the prospect of a comedy on the horizon.

Review #65 - Firstborn (1984)

Ah, the movie has arrived! My VHS copy of "Firstborn" has finally found its way to us. It comes sans box...so I had to take this summary from imdb.com:

"Because he's the oldest, Jake has been the man of the house, since his parents' divorce. When Mom starts seeing Sam, who always seems to be trying some new way to get rich quick, and declares he's the man of the house now, Jake puts up with it. Until he discovers Sam's illegal activities."

Mom is Teri Garr - Sam is Peter Weller - Jake, the oldest son, is some guy - and the little brother Brian is Corey Haim. Our Hero plays "weird friend", a role he perfected in the mid 80's.

So, at this point in our relationship, dear reader, you might think you can predict my reviews...so go for it. Stop right now and predict what I'm going to say about this 80's flick which was never released on DVD.

WRONG!!!! I actually LIKED this movie. I think, in fact, that it should be required viewing for every divorced woman with kids before she starts dating. Be careful, Ms. Divorcee, or you could end up a cokehead with Peter Weller sleeping on your couch all day.

The movie was good because it wasn't over the top. Mom's boyfriend, although a drug dealing junkie, put in a little effort with the kids, in his own sad way. Mom started doing drugs but didn't turn into a prostitute with track marks up and down her arms. And in the end -spoiler alert - the oldest son didn't kill mom's boyfriend, and all the problems the boyfriend caused didn't magically resolve themselves.

So, yes, I liked it. Frankly, I don't know why it hasn't been released on DVD. A lot worse crapola sure has been.

I give it a 7.5.

Lather, Rinse, Repeat

One week later - no movie yet. Our blog is in limbo and at the mercy of the United States Postal Service, and all that this implies.



I am also on the countdown to the "move". I am moving out in 6 days. What have I been doing lately, you ask? Well, I'll tell you. Pack pack pack pack pack sort pack sort sort toss toss sort pack pack pack load load load pack.



I find myself taking showers in the evening, as well as my usual morning time. Why? Because my muscles are sore, that's why, and I don't have a nice bathtub in which to soak. I'm definitely getting too old for this heavy lifting crap.



We do have a bright spot on the horizon. According to Maestro Netflix, DVD #1 for the final season of The Tudors is supposed to arrive in my post office box tomorrow. I've been waiting months for the next installment of decapitations, and am therefore quite excited.



A final note - my 11-year old just informed me that he has a major part of his Magellan report due on Tuesday; and, if he were not required to take a shower tonight, it would give him more time to work on it and meet the deadline. The implication here is, if he doesn't get it turned in on time, it's because I have burned valuable daylight and FORCED him to practice some form of hygiene. Just IMAGINE what he can get accomplished if he doesn't have to brush his teeth as well?

A VHS Experience

Well, dear friends - I have exciting news.

The price on the one remaining released RDJR film that we need to review has PLUMMETED. Can I get a woot woot? So, speeding its way through the United States Postal System as we speak is one copy of "First Born". I'm so happy I didn't cave a day earlier and buy it. I have the willpower of a Vulcan, do I not.

Also - my "stats" inform me that last week, this blog had 14 hits in Malta. I'm huge in Malta. Welcome, my Maltese friend. Please introduce yourself so that I can say that I know somebody in Malta.

Contest time, dear readers - post the most interesting trivia or anecdote about Malta and you will win my VHS copy of "America". Serious as a heart attack, it is yours - and be forewarned, slap jack no take back. I will even autograph it for you.

The floor is now open.